Hi, I’d like to explain to you that English isn’t my first language so sorry for certain mistakes. I write as well as I can, and I’m still learning. If you notice something not understandable, let me know what it is.
It was the day I was completely sleep-deprived and I was on my way to college. I didn’t sleep that night cuz’ I was rummaging in the Internet, reading about personal development. When I got to my university, I was still feeling awfully. I understood at that moment that I overdosed of time spent on finding out further information about self-improving. From that time I have tried not to do anything like that by force. I gave myself more slack after that overdosing, and I reduced videos to one per week then. Now I reach for video or post rather when I feel like and got some strength for it.
Another issue is that now I more distinguish good information from those false and unreal. And I know more what I look for. I found the field which is the most important for me presently, and I focus mainly on it.
# Not remembering
I really don’t remember all contents of those hundreds of thousands videos which I used to watch with curiosity. That’s why (from my experience) better to watch one video and remember anything than spending time on 100 different videos, but in vain because your mind won’t process everything. On the other hand, better for you or me is to watch plenty developmental videos than getting drunk 😉
# Development, development, give me more development!
Life happens, we lose sight of moments which perhaps are more important than “being better version of ourselves”. In this whole fixation on personal growth we tend to live as if our lives were only growth. We can fall into personal development so much that we don’t really live. And living means also caring about other aspects. And in this all it’s not about any bigger balance between work, family and relax. Some rest, some work, some satisfying needs, being, some rest, some work, some satisfying needs, being. It’s okay to not do it all perfectly properly. This is like in this picture:
When that man pushes the bullet which he holds with swing, it’s obvious that he puts into motion rest of bullets. The further the man will stand, the more other bullets move to the OPPOSITE side. Unless, of course, somebody will stand there and stop it. It would take resistance force. It means, if somebody have worked too much, they can fall now in something “opposite”, means in relax. And it will take time before “the swing stops” fully. And before it catch a “balance”, it swings less and less, gradually.
Writing of the balance, it makes me think of calm. In this modern world we, however, don’t have peace in our hearts. We’re not calm, we’re often stressed, we do many stuff, many many issues, we scamper, but tell me…
# To where your personal development rush in such a hurry?
Don’t extort it.
You are where you are. You are at the stage in which you are. Step through this with no rush. Do it at your own pace.
Can we drag 3-year-old kid on next stage of puberty, or, what’s even worse, on stage of being a fully developed human? Looking at adults’ behavior, it seems that there are plenty adults who’d like to it works that. But is possible to toddler become a grown-up in one night? And to skip over whole adolescence? Actually, its role is fun right now, not jump into 30th or 40th. Kids have right to be irresponsible, to not know (or not remember) how to behave, to just BE here, in this world. Just like you, but do you give yourself permission for? Kids don’t seek development by force, but they do develop truly and naturally when they are ready.
# Improving or only gaining knowledge?
Besides, development development or only knowledge? Maybe you watch countless videos, read much, and your knowledge has no reflection in the reality? Total rift between knowing and exterior state of affairs. I’ve been there. And I understand it, and I know how it all is disharmonious. On one side you know much and you could lecture the theory you’ve already possessed, and on the other hand you realize that little has change despite your knowledge. For example you know much about sense of self-worth, but you still feel like you’re worse.
I also remember that I read something on the web, and I verified the first several sentences at once. I must admit that I still remember the tip from that article, and I use it from time to time 😉 And when I had been reading many posts daily, I remembered really little, because there was too much to remember. So I got the big nothing then.
Why else it’s worth to verify? Because many people write a lot of things which are untrue, or at least some things which aren’t compatible with you. We bloggers and youtubers look through the lens of own experiences, preferences, traumas, same as you. We don’t know everything about everything.