Let’s say honestly that parents want their kids to:
- Be obedient, kind, nice & polite
- Become a doctor, lawyer etc. in the future
- Be convenient for parents (e.g. Patents want kids to not show anger)
- Behave in accordance with rules, behave always decently
And do you act according above points every time? You demand or expect your kid certain things, but are you a good example for them? Don’t you lose control when you’re e.g. tired or hungry, when you just need something? Have you never act in rude way when somebody attacked you?
Moreover, kid’s brain isn’t able to cope everything nor complicated things. Their brain just develop. This is just their time to be immature and try attempts to go to next development stage. They need time to handle better. Do you expect newborn to walk and speak in proper way one day after birth? Of course no. It’s understandable. But many adults expect toddlers and teens to behave like adults, even if they just can’t.
And the truth is that kids (those youngest and those oldest and every kids at all):
- They need to be loved and accepted who they really are
- Kids need to discover who they are and what they truly interested in
- They have right to feel emotions and express them in constructive way
- Children have right to not fit certain standards and build own individuality
- Difference between children and adults is that kids are in the process of changing childish action into adult and they have right to many attempts and fails
- They have right to get dirty
Here’s better mention that it’s not about rejection every society’s rules. No. Here’s about support your kids and take their side. There’s worth to try to understand them – that’s important for them. Focus on their good instead of building good opinion about you or complain about your kids. Gossiping isn’t raising nor supporting. Raising kids is about kids, their needs, good, and not about good opinion about you in society.
When kid develops authentically in harmony with own individuality, they want to develop and do it by themselves. But when you try to impose on them your ideas for their living, hobbies, way of thinking, fashion dress up or when you don’t let them to choice a toys, your kids don’t know who they are, they are blocked in their own development, and then you feel like you must force them to do anything, you find nothing, but force, because they don’t do what they want. Maybe even they haven’t chance to get to know what they really like and what are their preferences in life.
And how you want to build your kid? Do you want kid convenient for you, but lost and broken in the future? Or maybe you prefer to take on difficult task of healthy raising your kid, who develops? The latter has bigger chance to handle in life and feel okay with themselves.
The future of your kid is up to you. It’s in your hands.
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