We all know how it is to feel anger, be mad at somebody and how fiercely we can defend own view during quarrels. Maybe some of us unlearned the last thing, but most of us still experience moments of frustration, anger and even fury.
Those emotions focus towards things, people, situations and even towards ourselves. We’re angry that a table was situated exactly in that way, that we stumbled over it. We used to be (or some of us still are) angry at parents that they didn’t permit us everything what we wanted to.
The whole world causes anger?
Often we’re mad that the circumstances in which we found were unfavorable for us. For example, our alarm clock didn’t call (sound was off, phone discharged in the night or we simply forget to set it), we overslept, it occurs shock that we are late. Next, in the way to work or school our bus is going slower or we’re stuck in traffic (our nerves often rise at that moment due to our automatic thoughts – we can be aware of them or not), then suddenly we barge into classroom or work, our boss or teacher is having a bad mood that day and they are not going to just smile and forget, we can add more unfavorable things.. And moreover we planned that day in completely other way than it went.. This makes our nerves rise more.. And everyone around you commands you to calm down which causes even more anger in you, and you simply don’t know how to stop being so angry, even if you want to stop being angry right now. If you didn’t experience this sort of thing, boast in comments that luck 😉
And how can we calm down when our anger is so amped up? While we feel like we want to fall in more furious, yell at others, sometimes at ourselves, throw chairs, phones, vases and other stuffs, tell people what they should do as if we were a dissatisfied, authoritarian king who has pretensions towards all world that something happened to him, against his plans, surely purposely and we feel as victim. Many of us know this mechanism.
This scheme shows our mentality, our perception of reality and here we need to understand some truth about emotions, about the world. When we don’t know nature of something, we can’t control it and that’s why we don’t cope with something.
But what does it really mean that you don’t cope with anger?
It means that you:
- burst out yelling
- under the influence of anger you throw stuffs at people, animals, walls etc.
- say hurtful or untrue words to somebody or towards yourself
- do self-harm
- beat someone up, you dig them or somehow you violate their life, health, welfare..
- don’t communicate your borders while you’re feeling discomfort
- want to get rid of emotions once and for all
- provoke more anger by yourself, by your thoughts
- don’t know what to do while you are feeling rage
- often feel rage
- blame others that it all is their fault, that they are getting on your nerves, they all drive you crazy all the time and that in the first place they should change something, not you
- don’t have inner brake (certain voice) which could stop you before unconstructive action
- don’t know how to calm down
If at least a few above points suit to you now, it doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, stupid, wrong, strange or worse. It only means that it would be good for you (and also for good of others) to care about your emotional aspect of life, which often is unconsciously neglected. In this case there’s something which can help you and this is my e-book about anger.
In my e-book you’ll get to know:
- Ways to deal with anger issues
- How to “get rid of anger”
- What anger causes
- Healthy ways to express anger
- Is anger something bad
- What anger really is
- What suppressing anger leads to
- How to calm down
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You can share in comments what situations cause your anger, how you try to deal with anger issues, what is curious for you in “It’s getting on my nerves!: Anger management” or is there something which help you to stop being angry.